BEHAVIOR OUTSIDE OF THEIR COUNTRY

---------------------------------

Aussies:        Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.

Canadians:      Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans

                when abroad.

Americans:      Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.

Brits:          Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

Aussies:        Believe you should look out for your mates.

Brits:          Believe that you should look out for those people who

                belong to your club.

Americans:      Believe that people should look out for & take care of

                themselves.

Canadians:      Believe that that's the government's job.



PATRIOTISM

----------

Aussies:        Are extremely patriotic to their beer.

Americans:      Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively

                patriotic to the point of blindness.

Canadians:      Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can

                be bothered to sing them.

Brits:          Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to

                perform the anthem.



TELEVISION

----------

Americans:      Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.

Canadians:      Don't, but only because they can't get more American

                channels.

Brits:          Pay a tax just so they can watch five channels.

Aussies:        Export all their programs, which no-one there watches to

                Britain, where everybody loves them.



SPORTS

------

Americans:      Love to watch sports on the idiot box.

Brits:          Love to watch sports in stadiums so they can fight with

                other fans.

Canadians:      Prefer to actually engage in sports rather than watch

                them.

Americans:      Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and

                basketball.

Brits:          Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and

                rugby.

Canadians:      Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey,

                hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice,

                playing baseball.

Aussies:        Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms

                in every sport they play them in.



LANGUAGE

--------

Americans:      Spell words differently, but still call it "English".

Brits:          Pronounce their words differently, but still call it

                "English".

Canadians:      Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.

Aussies:        Add "G'day", "mate" and a heavy accent to everything

                they say  in an attempt to get laid.



SHOPPING

--------

Brits:          Shop at home and have goods imported because they live

                on an island.

Aussies:        Shop at home and have goods imported because they live

                on an island.

Americans:      Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, &

                liquor in a backwards country.

Canadians:      Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, &

                liquor in a backwards country.



BEER

----

Americans:     Drink weak, awful-tasting beer.

Canadians:     Drink strong, awful-tasting beer.

Brits:         Drink warm, awful-tasting beer.

Aussies:       Drink anything with alcohol in it.



VIEWS ON WEALTH

---------------

Americans:     Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect.

Canadians:     Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally

               suspect.

Brits:         Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure

               are inherited things.

Australians:   Seem to think that people with wealth are "lucky

               bastards" and morally suspect.