- No, YOU assume the position.
- I’m surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!
- If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?
- I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said, Thyroid problem?
- When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
- My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
- I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.
Q: How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to hold the breasts, I mean ladder
Q: How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two – one to change it, one not to change it
Q: How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: None, but it takes 15 to write a paper entitled “coping with darkness”.
I always forget those little funny jokes that I wish I could remember. So now I stick them here – if you have a short joke that will make me laugh then send it in and maybe it will appear here too!
I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64k, 128k, 256k, 512k, and 1MB. That was a trip down memory lane.
Apparently you can’t use “beefstew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.