Fun Emails Archives - Friday Fun

Short Jokes 😀

Dr Effingpot30th March 202029th April 2020

30th March 202029th April 202001337

Here are our favourite short jokes. Updated frequently. If you have a short joke, a joke of the week, a joke of the day or other short clean jokes that will make us laugh then send it in and maybe it will appear here too!

I rang my wife from the shop cos I’d forgot what orange juice she wanted.
‘Concentrate’ she said, but I still couldn’t remember 😀

My Indian friend died of a heart attack last night.
Must have had a dodgy Tikka. 😀

I asked Arnold Schwarzenegger what his favourite Christian festival is.
He said, “Have to love Easter, baby.” 😀

Me: “Doctor, you’ve got to help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
Doc: “I don’t follow you … ” 😀

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym again yesterday.
That’s 20 years in a row! 😀

I’m worried about one of my testicles.
It’s quite a bit bigger than the other two. 😀

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Emotional Health Hotline

Dr Effingpot8th January 201928th April 2019

8th January 201928th April 20190257

Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
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Words of Wisdom

Dr Effingpot6th November 201830th August 2019

6th November 201830th August 20190126

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.

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Wife 2.0 – Product Warning

Dr Effingpot11th October 201827th October 2018

11th October 201827th October 20180148

Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

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Viagra-like Drugs

Dr Effingpot11th October 201827th October 2018

11th October 201827th October 20180136

With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today’s society….

DIRECTRA – a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

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Life after University

Dr Effingpot11th October 201829th October 2018

11th October 201829th October 20180108

Things that change when you leave ….

6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to sleep
Having sex in a single bed is absurd.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

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Truant Notes

Dr Effingpot11th October 201829th October 2018

11th October 201829th October 20180154

The following is a partial list of actual written excuses given to teachers in the Albuquerque Public School System by parents:

Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father’s fault.

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Translation Problems

Dr Effingpot11th October 201829th October 2018

11th October 201829th October 20180160

Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an ‘E’ for Effort.

In a Tokyo Hotel:

Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis. (more…)

Ponderous Thoughts

Dr Effingpot11th October 201829th October 2018

11th October 201829th October 20180123

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

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How to have fun on the Tube

Dr Effingpot11th October 201829th October 2018

11th October 201829th October 20180135

Make race car noises when any one gets on or off
Tape coins to your face with sticky tape
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering “shut up, dammit, all of you SHUT UP”
Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a small world” incessantly.
Sell girl scout cookies (Okay it’s an American thing but you get the idea)
On a long ride, sway from side to side with the natural rhythm of the train.

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