Friday Fun
Friday Fun
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Welcome to Friday Fun! This site is different from other funny video, picture, comedy and meme sites. Everything has to pass our funny test. If we didn’t laugh, it’s not here!

Short Jokes 😀

Joke of the Week

Here are our favourite short jokes. Updated frequently. If you have a short joke, a joke of the week, a joke of the day or other short clean jokes that will make us laugh then send it in and maybe it will appear here too!

 

In the Canary Islands there are no canaries.
Same story in the Virgin Islands. No canaries there either! 😀

 

I met my wife through the new Tesco dating service. I got a bag for life! 😀

 

During the war, my Grandad survived Mustard Gas and Pepper Spray attacks. He’s considered a seasoned veteran! 😀

If you boil down your funny bone, does it become a laughing stock? 😀

 

Dogs can’t read X-rays! But cats can! 😀

 

I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised! 😀

 

I thought my orthopaedic shoes wouldn’t work. I stand corrected! 😀

 

A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean! 😀

 

My daughter screeched, “Daaaaaad, you haven’t listened to one word I’ve said, have you!?” What a strange way to start a conversation with me… 😀

 

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right! 😀

 

I don’t like lollypop ladies. Not sure why … They just make me cross! 😀

 

What do you call a dog that does magic? A labracadabrador! 😀

 

I just ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon. I’ll let you know! 😀

 

There are two types of people in the world: 1. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data. 😀

 

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? 😀

 

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it. 😀

 

I just dropped my phone in mayonnaise. Bloody hellman! 😀

 

If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? 😀

 

My wife wants me to have sex with her on the bonnet of her Honda Civic, But if I’m going to have sex like that, it’ll be on my own Accord! 😀

 

I tripped over my wife’s bra. It was a booby trap! 😀

 

How many thriller writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two – one gets it almost all the way in, then the other comes along and applies a surprising twist at the end. 😀

 

How many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two – one to screw in the lighbulb and one to hold te boobs. I mean ladder! 😀

 

Yesterday evening I had to change a lightbulb, a bit later on I crossed the road. Then I walked into a bar. My life is a joke. 😀

 

I hate being bi-polar. It’s AMAZING! 😀

 

Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire. 😀

 

People keep asking me to stop naming Bruce Willis movies. But you know what they say, old habits pulp fiction. 😀

 

I hate autocorrect, it always makes me say things I didn’t Nintendo! 😀

Apparently you can’t use “beefstew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff. 😀

 

When chemists die, do they barium? 😀

 

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist orders an H2O. The second scientist orders an H2O too. The second scientist dies 😀

 

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. 😀

 

The guy who invented predictive text passed away yesterday.
His funfair will be next monkey 😀

 

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me! 😀

 

Recent research reveals that 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy 😀

 

I tried to catch some fog. I mist. 😀

 

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. 😀

 

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. 😀

 

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore. 😀

 

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down. 😀

 

Guess who I bumped into at Specsavers today? 😀

 

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .. 😀

 

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O. 😀

 

My wife says I only have two faults! I don’t listen, and ur something else! 😀

 

A Brummie walks into a tailors, “Alroit mate, I’d like a 70’s suit please.” The tailor says, “Certainly sir, and would you like a kipper tie?” The Brummie says, “Thanks mate, white with two sugars please” 😀

 

A pizza is basically a real time pie chart of how much pizza is left! 😀

 

What did Sting get in Amsterdam? A massage in a brothel! 😀

 

Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject? Now you mention Botox and nobody even raises an eyebrow! 😀

 

A man got run over by a red lorry, a yellow lorry, then another red lorry, then another yellow lorry. Police said there was no easy way to tell his family! 😀

 

Why does the Norwegian Navy put barcodes on the sides of their warships? So that when they return from battle they can … Scandanavian! 😀

 

Theresa May’s cabinet ‘not in crisis’ confirms Justice Secretary Barry from Eastenders. 😀

 

I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64k, 128k, 256k, 512k, and 1MB. That was a trip down memory lane. 😀

 

To person at a fancy dress party: What have you come as?
A harp
Hmm, you’re a bit small for a harp
Are you calling me a lyre?

 

I went to the zoo at the weekend
It only had one animal
It was a dog
It was a shih tzu!

 

Knock knock. Who’s there? Europe …. (try also …. What’s up, Done Up, Need up, Smell up, Eat up) 😀

 

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp who bought a warehouse? 😀

 

This dyslexic bloke walks into a bra … 😀

 

Heard about the dyslexic athiest who didn’t believe there was a dog? 😀

 

Or the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa? 😀

 

Least visited website ever – www.dyslexia.com 😀

 

DNA = National Association of Dyslexics 😀

 

Shouldn’t hemorrhoids really be called asteroids? 😀

 

When I heard they had found a cure for dyslexia it was like music to my arse! 😀

 

Schizophrenia – beats being alone! 😀

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