Friday Fun

Ponderous Thoughts

Ponderous thoughts
  • Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

  • How do I set my laser printer on stun?

  • How is it possible to have a civil war?

  • If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

  • If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

  • If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

  • If you’re born again, do you have two belly buttons?

  • If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

  • If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

  • Is a castrated pig disgruntled?

  • Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “asteroids”?

  • Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

  • If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of the stuff?

  • Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

  • If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn’t everyone just move 10 miles away?

  • Atheism is a nonprophet organization.

  • If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

  • If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

  • And whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have an “S” in it?

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