I always forget those little funny jokes that I wish I could remember. So now I stick them here – if you have a short joke that will make me laugh then send it in and maybe it will appear here too!
I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64k, 128k, 256k, 512k, and 1MB. That was a trip down memory lane.
Apparently you can’t use “beefstew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
When chemists die, do they barium?
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist orders an H2O. The second scientist orders an H2O too. The second scientist dies 🙂
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words ..
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
My wife says I only have two faults! I don’t listen, and ur something else!
A Brummie walks into a tailors, “Alroit mate, I’d like a 70’s suit please.” The tailor says, “Certainly sir, and would you like a kipper tie?” The Brummie says, “Thanks mate, white with two sugars please”
A pizza is basically a real time pie chart of how much pizza is left .
What did Sting get in Amsterdam? A massage in a brothel.
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject? Now you mention Botox and nobody even raises an eyebrow!
A man got run over by a red lorry, a yellow lorry, then another red lorry, then another yellow lorry. Police said there was no easy way to tell his family!
Why does the Norwegian Navy put barcodes on the sides of their warships? So that when they return from battle they can … Scandanavian! (Boom boom – I’m here all week folks!)
Theresa May’s cabinet ‘not in crisis’ confirms Justice Secretary Barry from Eastenders.
To person at a fancy dress party: What have you come as?
Hmm, you’re a bit small for a harp
Are you calling me a lyre?
I went to the zoo at the weekend
It only had one animal
It was a dog
It was a shih tzu!
I knew you were nuts!
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp who bought a warehouse?
This dyslexic bloke walks into a bra …
Heard about the dyslexic athiest who didn’t believe there was a dog?
Or the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa?
Least visited website ever – www.dyslexia.com
DNA = National Association of Dyslexics
Shouldn’t hemorrhoids really be called asteroids?