You’ve been in corporate life too long when ….
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You ask the waiter what the restaurant’s core competencies are.
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You decide to re-org your family into a “team-based organization.”
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You refer to dating as test marketing.
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You can spell “paradigm.”
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You actually know what a paradigm is.
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You understand your airline’s fare structure.
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You write executive summaries on your love letters.
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Your Valentine’s Day cards have bullet points.
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You think that it’s actually efficient to write a ten page presentation with six other people you don’t know.
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You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a performance review.
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You believe you never have any problems in your life, just “issues” and “improvement opportunities.”
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You calculate your own personal cost of capital.
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You explain to your bank manager that you prefer to think of yourself as “highly leveraged” as opposed to “in debt.”
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You end every argument by saying “let’s talk about this off-line”.
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You can explain to somebody the difference between “re-engineering”, “down- sizing”, “right-sizing”, and “firing people’s asses.”
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You actually believe your explanation in number 15.
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You talk to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives late.
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You refer to your previous life as “my sunk cost.”
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You refer to your significant other as “my co-CEO.”
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You like both types of sandwiches: ham and turkey.
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You start to feel sorry for Dilbert’s boss.
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You believe the best tables and graphs take an hour to comprehend.
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You account for your tuition as a capital expenditure instead of an expense.
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You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child.
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At your last family reunion, you wanted to have an emergency meeting about their brand equity.
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Your “deliverable” for Sunday evening is clean laundry and paid bills.
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You use the term “value-added” without falling down laughing.
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You ask the car salesman if the car comes with a whiteboard and Internet connection.
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You give constructive feedback to your dog.
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