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Corporate life too long?

Corporate Life

You’ve been in corporate life too long when ….

  • You ask the waiter what the restaurant’s core competencies are.

  • You decide to re-org your family into a “team-based organization.”

  • You refer to dating as test marketing.

  • You can spell “paradigm.”

  • You actually know what a paradigm is.

  • You understand your airline’s fare structure.

  • You write executive summaries on your love letters.

  • Your Valentine’s Day cards have bullet points.

  • You think that it’s actually efficient to write a ten page presentation with six other people you don’t know.

  • You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a performance review.

  • You believe you never have any problems in your life, just “issues” and “improvement opportunities.”

  • You calculate your own personal cost of capital.

  • You explain to your bank manager that you prefer to think of yourself as “highly leveraged” as opposed to “in debt.”

  • You end every argument by saying “let’s talk about this off-line”.

  • You can explain to somebody the difference between “re-engineering”, “down- sizing”, “right-sizing”, and “firing people’s asses.”

  • You actually believe your explanation in number 15.

  • You talk to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives late.

  • You refer to your previous life as “my sunk cost.”

  • You refer to your significant other as “my co-CEO.”

  • You like both types of sandwiches: ham and turkey.

  • You start to feel sorry for Dilbert’s boss.

  • You believe the best tables and graphs take an hour to comprehend.

  • You account for your tuition as a capital expenditure instead of an expense.

  • You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child.

  • At your last family reunion, you wanted to have an emergency meeting about their brand equity.

  • Your “deliverable” for Sunday evening is clean laundry and paid bills.

  • You use the term “value-added” without falling down laughing.

  • You ask the car salesman if the car comes with a whiteboard and Internet connection.

  • You give constructive feedback to your dog.

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