Friday Fun

Fun Emails

Short Jokes 😀

Dr Effingpot
036163
Joke of the Week

Here are our favourite short jokes. Updated frequently. If you have a short joke, a joke of the week, a joke of the day or other short clean jokes that will make us laugh then send it in and maybe it will appear here too!

 

The news that I was colour blind came completely out of the teal! 😀

 

My professor accused me of plagiarism.
His words, not mine! 😀

 

Although I was born visible, I now identify as invisible. I am trans-parent! My pronouns are who/where! 😀

 

I tried to marry my ex-wife. But she figured out I was only after my money! 😀

 

We must all do our bit for the planet!
I just unplugged a row of electric cars that nobody was using! 😀

 

Just because something is on Facebook, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true … William Shakespeare 😀

 

This morning I used Red Bull to make my coffee instead of Water!
After 15 minutes on the motorway I realized I’d left my car at home! 😀

 

I know loads of cash machine jokes. I just can’t think of one ATM! 😀
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Wife 2.0 – Product Warning

Dr Effingpot
0977
Wife 2.0 Product Warning

Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

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Viagra-like Drugs

Dr Effingpot
0396
Viagra-like Drugs

With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today’s society….

  • DIRECTRA – a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

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Truant Notes

Dr Effingpot
0304
Truant

The following is a partial list of actual written excuses given to teachers in the Albuquerque Public School System by parents:

  • ​Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
  • Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
  • Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father’s fault.

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How to have fun on the Tube

Dr Effingpot
0507
How to have fun on the tube
  • Make race car noises when any one gets on or off
  • Tape coins to your face with sticky tape
  • Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering “shut up, dammit, all of you SHUT UP”
  • Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a small world” incessantly.
  • Sell girl scout cookies (Okay it’s an American thing but you get the idea)
  • On a long ride, sway from side to side with the natural rhythm of the train.

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