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Web Jargon
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- Link Rot
- The process by which links on a web page became as obsolete as
the sites they're connected to change location or die.
- Crapplet
- A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just wasted
30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"
- Plug-and-Play
- A new hire who doesn't need any training. "The new guy, John, is
great. He's totally plug-and-play."
- World Wide Wait
- The real meaning of WWW.
- CGI Joe
- A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and
charisma of a plastic action figure.
- Under Mouse Arrest
- Getting busted for violating an online service's rule of conduct.
"Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest."
- Glazing
- Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A popular
pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. "Didn't he
notice that half the room was glazing by the second session?"
- 404
- Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web message
"404, URL Not Found," meaning that the document you've tried
to access can't be located. "Don't bother asking him...he's 404, man".
- Dead Tree Edition
- The paper version of a publication available in both paper and
electronic forms, as in: "The dead tree edition of the San
Francisco Chronicle..."
- Egosurfing
- Scanning the net, databases, print media, or research papers
looking for the mention of your name.
- Graybar Land
- The place you go while you're staring at a computer that's
processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar
creep across the screen). "I was in graybar land for what seemed
like hours, thanks to that CAD rendering."
- Open-Collar Workers
- People who work at home or telecommute.
- Squirt The Bird
- To transmit a signal up to a satellite. "Crew and talent are
ready...what time do we squirt the bird?"
- Cobweb Site
- A World Wide Web Site that hasn't been updated for a long time.
A dead web page.
- It's a Feature
- From the adage "It's not a bug, it's a feature." Used sarcasticall y
to describe an unpleasant experience that you wish to gloss over.
- Keyboard Plaque
- The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer
keyboards. "Are there any other terminals I can use? This one has
a bad case of keyboard plaque."
- Elvis Year
- The peak year of something's popularity. "Barney the dinosaur's
Elvis year was 1993."
- Alpha Geek
- The most knowledgable, technically proficient person in an office
or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
- Adminisphere
- The rarified organizational layers beginning just above the rank
and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve.
- Tourists
- People who are taking training classes just to get a vacation from
their jobs. "We had about three serious students in the class; the
rest were tourists."
- Blowing Your Buffer
- Losing one's train of thought. Occurs when the person you are
speaking with won't let you get a word in edgewise or has just
said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. "Damn,
I just blew my buffer!"
- Gray Matter
- Older, experienced business people hired by young entrpreneurial
firms looking to appear more reputable and established.
- Bookmark
- To take note of a person for future reference (a metaphor
borrowed from web browsers). "I bookmarked him after seeing
his cool demo at Siggraph."
- Nyetscape
- Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser.
- Beepilepsy
- The brief siezure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go
off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical
spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in
mid-sentence.
- Salmon Day
- The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream
only to get screwed in the end.
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