HEAVEN IS WHERE:

The police are British

The mechanics are German

The cooks are French

The lovers are Italian

And the whole thing is organised by the Swiss:

HELL IS WHERE:

The police are German

The cooks are British

The mechanics are French

The lovers are Swiss

And the whole thing is organised by the Italians!

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes

What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
Sexual harassment.

What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
$3.99 a minute.

How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same but you get the remote.